The Same Relationship Patern
September 26, 2009
Sometimes we think we have the perfect relationship.
Then all at once it takes a turn.
If you really love someone, that someone loves you back.
How can love you share turn so quickly?
Myself it seems I've lived a lifetime of disappointments.
My life, the way I let things lead me down that certain road.
Feeling not strong enough to take the other.
I feel a relationship should be considered highly upon understanding.
Both partners should love one another enough to sit and talk it through.
If you really love someone why can't you sit and find the solution together?
Why does it always lead to one always barking out demands?
The two B's, number 1, "What's going to be" and number 2, "How it's going to be".
With my life, I've always had that cycle of falling into the same pattern with a relationship.
Each time I find myself thinking, "This is it, the relationship I've always dreamed of."
Then reality brings you back.
You realize this is the same thing you try to run from.
"Your heart belongs and now you feel it's too late."
"Now what to do?"
I sometimes hold my hurt in, talking about it doesn't work anymore.
The more you try to hold it together, the more it falls apart.
We push the hurt deeply talking our way back to the place we both shared couple hours before.
Why is the Question, and this is my 4 "Why's"
#1, "Why do we cheapen ourselves to go back instead of going forward?"
#2, "Why can't we realize that our life is much more then this?"
#3, "Why can't we live out our dreams instead of making someone else happy?"
#4, "Why can't we take that stand to live the way that makes us happy?"
Those 4 why's are my minds greatest questions that always go unanswered.
Yet it's the same turn out for most of us.
It's not because we're weak or uneducated.
It has a lot to do with trusting our heart instead of our head.
Trying to keep ourselves in that happy stage we were before.
So there again....."Why?"
Is it because the love we have isn't real enough to work through?
Should we both give up trying and go our separate ways?
It's never a pleasant thought and it's always one we try to avoid.
Who wants to start all over once again?
We find ourselves pushing our feelings although some never care how we feel about it.
Every hurt I seem to endure, the further I feel pushed away.
Myself I don't want to live that kind of life.
I'm never sure what to do in this situation.
Should I go with the terms demanded to me?
Should I belittle myself to another to contain their love?
There is so much inside me I enjoy and love.
When pushed to the breaking point, I'm like others and I cave.
I try my best to continue holding on to yesterday instead of living my heart for tomorrow.
There is so much passion inside that I let die everytime It comes down to this.
I push all my passion, my dreams, and all that makes myself happy to only oblige to hold on to today.
I have a huge heart and you would think it could only be broken so many times by the same person.
Each time it's different with the same look you see in their eye.
Causing us to let them take away anything that matters to us.
"Why do we allow this to happen?"
I don't have an answer for it.
I never did.
I like others, keep taking that same path.